Drop Out of Your Mind and Into Your Heart
So What is Mindfulness….
Mindfulness is about becoming aware of what’s going in our body, in our feelings, in our mind. Just observing, noticing, without the need to change anything. So paying attention in a particular way – on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.
Mindfulness provides a simple but powerful route for getting ourselves unstuck and back in touch with our own wisdom and vitality. It is a way to take charge of the direction and quality of our own lives, including relationships with our family, our work and to the world at large, and most fundamentally, our relationship with ourselves. So being in touch with our true selves, with our source of wisdom and compassion.
The ways in which we need to grow are usually those we are most defended against and are least willing to admit exist, let alone take a mindful peek at, and then act on to change.
We may be so defended against feeling the full impact of our emotional pain - whether it be fear, anger, grief, shame, or for that matter even joy or satisfaction - that we unconsciously escape into a cloud of numbness in which we do not permit ourselves to feel anything at all, or to know that we are feeling.
How can being mindful help?
Mindfulness works in part, by helping people accept their experiences - including painful emotions, as they are, rather then reacting to them with aversion.
Being mindful makes it easier to enjoy the pleasures in life, helps us become more fully engaged in all activities and creates a much greater capacity to deal with adverse events that may occur in our lives.
By focusing on the here and now we find ourselves less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets over the past and are more able to form deeper connections with others. We find ourselves becoming less concerned about success and self-esteem. We can free ourselves from stress and learn to love with more peace, purpose and wisdom.
How can mindfulness help in my everyday life?
How much have you connected with yourself at all in your whole life?
By simply letting yourself be, as you are, you develop genuine sympathy towards yourself.
What are you, who are you, where is your heart?
If you really look you won’t find anything solid and tangible, nothing static and fixed. Of course you might find something very solid if you are holding a grudge against somebody or you have fallen obsessively in love. But that is not an awakened heart. If you search for such an awakened heart, if you try to ‘get it’, there is nothing there except for emptiness and tenderness. You begin to feel soft and open. Then if you open your eyes to the rest of the world, you might notice you feel tremendous sadness. Not because someone has insulted you or harmed you. Rather because your heart is completely exposed, open, and soft. Your experience is gentle and tender and so personal. This genuine heart of sadness comes from feeling that your nonexistent heart is full – in this state you feel you would like to give your heart to others. This is what gives birth to fearlessness, of a sense of no longer feeling afraid that someone or something will harm you. A fearlessness that blossoms from tenderness. A sense that you would allow people in, to open up to others, without resistance, and soften to the world. To share you heart with others.
In order to experience fearlessness it is necessary to first experience fear. This fear can often manifest as the feeling of inadequacy, a feeling that our own lives are overwhelming. Other times this fear expresses as a restlessness and a ‘doing’ or distraction in one form or another. Perhaps a desire to over work; some people work-out excessively; others shop, maybe consume alcohol or take recreational drugs; watch tv or even just a habit of fidgeting, a feeling that we have to be doing something, of being productive and moving all the time. As long as we keep moving, we feel safe, otherwise we are afraid we might disappear. There are numerous strategies that we use to distract ourselves of our fear.
This behaviour is often seen as virtuous in our society. Entertainment is promoted and encouraged and any thought of stillness should be avoided.
So fear has to be recognized and acknowledged. We need to look deeply into ourselves to see how fear is expressing; how we run our lives, how we talk, how we move, how we conduct ourselves, how we interact with others. Then we will begin to find something out about how fear is manifested in the form of our own restlessness.
Going beyond fear starts when we begin to examine ourselves, when we begin to self-observe, when we begin to become more mindful, our anxiety, our restlessness, our nervousness, our reactivity to our lives, which is vibrating all the time. If we look deeply into our own fear, if we slow down, when we relax with our fear and we look beneath the surface, we will find sadness. A sadness which is calm and gentle, a tenderness of the heart which is beautiful and intimate at the same time.
That is the first taste of fearlessness, with the softness and openness of the heart.
Come and work with me with me and let me help you discover ways you can begin to truly connect with yourself, to face your fears, uncover your tender heart, open and soften with your world and everyone in it. Learn how to respond to life and not react from your conditioning.